Love Something That's Not A Bitch

samspratt:

SAM SPRATT’s 2014 PORTRAIT GIVEAWAY
In short: Reblogs and Likes of this picture are each entries to have me paint a personalized portrait of you.
In slightly less short: Longtime followers are no stranger to these contests but for those new to this or me, I’m an illustrator (my work: www.samspratt.com ) who has worked with National Geographic, Janelle Monáe, Childish Gambino, FX, Game Informer, Angry Birds, Wall Street Journal, among others – creating album and magazine covers, advertisements, and posters – but a big part of me being able to do all that has been you sharing my work over the last 3 years. As my small way of paying that forward, I’d like to paint for one of you as I would for my clients, but ya know … for free. Maybe you want that regal portrait of you in a velvet smoking jacket to hang over your mantle, maybe one of your loved one, favorite character, or perhaps you just want me to paint you however I see fit (warning: this will 100% involve dinosaurs) – if you can think it, I’ll probably paint it – and I’ll work with you to make it something special.
As usual I’ll also be sending signed prints and haikus about your eyebrows to extra winners. The contest will stay open for about a week then I’ll randomly draw winners. You can enter on facebook and twitter for extra entries but be cool and don’t spam your followers.

samspratt:

SAM SPRATT’s 2014 PORTRAIT GIVEAWAY

In short: Reblogs and Likes of this picture are each entries to have me paint a personalized portrait of you.

In slightly less short: Longtime followers are no stranger to these contests but for those new to this or me, I’m an illustrator (my work: www.samspratt.com ) who has worked with National Geographic, Janelle Monáe, Childish Gambino, FX, Game Informer, Angry Birds, Wall Street Journal, among others – creating album and magazine covers, advertisements, and posters – but a big part of me being able to do all that has been you sharing my work over the last 3 years. As my small way of paying that forward, I’d like to paint for one of you as I would for my clients, but ya know … for free. Maybe you want that regal portrait of you in a velvet smoking jacket to hang over your mantle, maybe one of your loved one, favorite character, or perhaps you just want me to paint you however I see fit (warning: this will 100% involve dinosaurs) – if you can think it, I’ll probably paint it – and I’ll work with you to make it something special.

As usual I’ll also be sending signed prints and haikus about your eyebrows to extra winners. The contest will stay open for about a week then I’ll randomly draw winners. You can enter on facebook and twitter for extra entries but be cool and don’t spam your followers.

With the introduction of my screen printing press in the garage, I got an Etsy shop now, suckahs!

I have made one of my threadless designs into a shirt of my own! Behold the glory of Ron Swanson!

Visit me! THE RICH MAHOGANY SHOP

You don’t have to buy it. I just hope you like it!

More to come and thanks, follower-dawgs!

When the most indecisive person in the car decides where to eat.

When the most indecisive person in the car decides where to eat.

When you truly understand someone.

When you truly understand someone.

Way to go, Variety. I don’t think you spell that with a “k.”

Way to go, Variety. I don’t think you spell that with a “k.”

The two pictures above were featured in an article about modern genius inventions.

Pretty sure the Simpsons had it right in nineteen ninety fucking four (1994)!

informercials:

***GIVEAWAY***

Black 32gig iPhone 5 and Macbook Pro 15-inch 2.0 Ghz with Retina Display
Hi everyone~ seeing as it’s nearly 2014 i thought i might do a giveaway to start the year off with a bang <33

i’ll be giving away my iPhone 5 (as i’m getting a galaxy S4 in the new year) and my mid-2012 Macbook Pro 15-inch 2.0 Ghz with Retina Display as i recently got a macbook air xx

together this giveaway totals over £2000 ($3270) so hopefully it’ll make one of you very very happy this new year..

i will choose one of you using a random generator and you will win both items.

***CLOSES ON THE 1ST JANUARY 2014***
if I don’t feel like there are enough notes I may extend the closing date.

I only have 3 rules:

- must be following me (if you aren’t you will be disqualified!!)
-
Simply reblog
- Likes don’t count though you may like it to save the post

I will ship to any country and you won’t need to pay for shipping, I’ll  handle it

(tumblr terms and conditions requires me to say that i am not affiliating this with tumblr, this is my giveaway not theirs lol)

ok that’s it, good luck!!!

Christmas Unicorn

Inspired by Sufjan Steven’s unique Christmas anthem, "Christmas Unicorn."

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I’m a Christmas Unicorn, in a uniform made of gold
With a billy-goat beard, and a sorcerer’s shield, and mistletoe on my nose

Oh, I’m a Christian holiday, I’m a symbol of original sin
I’ve a pagan tree, and a magical wreath, and bow-tie on my chin

Oh, I’m a pagan heresy, I’m a tragic-al Catholic shrine
I’m a little bit shy, with a lazy eye, and a penchant for sublime

Oh, I’m a mystical apostasy, I’m a horse with a fantasy twist
Though I play all night, with my magical kite, people say I don’t exist

For I make no full apology for the category I reside
I’m a mythical mess, with a treasury chest, I’m a construct of your mind

Oh, I’m hysterically American, I’ve a credit card on my wrist
And I have no home, or a field to roam, I will curse you with my kiss

Oh, I’m a criminal pathology with a history of medical care
I’m a frantic shopper, and a brave pill popper, and they say my kind are rare

But I’ve seen others in the uniform of a unicorn just like me
We are legions wide, and we choose no sides, we are masters of mystique

For you’re a Christmas Unicorn, I have seen you on the beat
You may dress in the human uniform, child… But I know you’re just like me

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh…

I’m the Christmas Unicorn
You’re the Christmas Unicorn too

I’m the Christmas Unicorn
(Find the Christmas Unicorn)
You’re the Christmas Unicorn too
(It’s all right, I love you)

Love, love will tear us apart, again
Love, love will tear us apart, my friend.

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Me. Every. Single. Day
I&#8217;ve never come across something that has more perfectly described life struggle. Me being the cat; the trampoline being the world.

Me. Every. Single. Day

I’ve never come across something that has more perfectly described life struggle. Me being the cat; the trampoline being the world.